Compassion Group Notes - January 2023
Can we relate to one another in our sameness instead of hating one another in our differences?
Qualities of Self
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Each of you is conscious. Consciousness is the life force, the energy of love and truth, the animation of matter.This consciousness is what you ARE. We call this the soul. You are a soul. And a soul is one drop of the infinite sea of Consciousness. You are nothing else but this. To think of yourself as thoughts and beliefs, feelings, needs, behaviors, is for you, as the Soul to identify with a function of life, the survival function of life. To stay alive in form, you need to feel fear and shame. You have needs that must be met to stay alive. You must be able to think dualistically so as to see the difference between what keeps you and alive and what could result in physical death. This is just function, not identity. Can you bring your Soul into relationship with the needs, feelings, experiences, memories, beliefs, and behaviors of how you have learned to survive in the world? Can you bring Truth and Love into relationship with the human functions of survival?
First you as consciousness must recognize what you are not - be a witness to the finite function of staying alive. And how do we recognize the function? Secondly how do we recognize the infinite qualities of Self in form?
In our groups this week we have been role playing being the other person’s Soul/Self in relationship to the ego.survival issue that they are wrestling with. The experience has been rich and touching. Some of the words people used when someone else role played their loving souls for them, were, “I feel seen, held, heard, embraced, accepted.” People were deeply moved by the experience of meeting themselves outside of themselves. It is an amazing experience to feel yourself listening, holding, caring, loving, accepting the wounds of shame and fear, false belief, unmet needs and defensive behavior, instead of hearing the usual berating, controlling, judging, advice giving, correcting and rejection of one’s own ego, or someone else’s ego shouldering all over us.
It is imperative to come to know ourselves. Who are we? What are we? We are simply consciousness or spirit having a human/physical experience. Can we tell the difference between Self and function? Examine the lists below and see if you can start standing back and having the perspective of what you are experiencing and WHO YOU ARE.
“The whole life lies in the verb seeing.”
― Teilhard de Chardin
Yes, I can do it myself. I know what I feel, need, want, think and take responsibility for me.
Responsibility
THE ABILITY TO RESPOND - (internal frame of reference)
I am able to own and articulate my own perceptions and experiences
I am able to own and articulate my own feelings
I am able to own and articulate my own thoughts, beliefs, opinions and ideas
I am able to own and articulate my own needs, wants and desires and effectively work to get them met myself
I am able to accept the consequences of my decisions and actions without blaming others or circumstances. “You made me feel...” makes me a victim of other people. Eleanor Roosevel tonce said, “No-one can offend me without my permission.”
I am able to fully own my mistakes, failings and shortcomings without minimizing, excusing or justifying myself
I am able to articulate who I am respectfully and sensitively without violating or disrespecting who you are and without compromising who I am by lying or denying or distorting the truth about my thoughts, feelings and needs
I have the humility to recognize and accept my limitations as a human being
I have the ability to protect my identity and security
I am in control of my own life, no one else's
RESPONSIBILITY IS NOT (external frame of reference)
How much I do, achieve or accomplish
Measured by how much admiration, attention and reward I receive for all I do, achieve and accomplish
The degree of perfection I attain in all that I do, achieve and accomplish
Whether I can be counted on to do, achieve and accomplish what others want and expect
How much and how often others can DEPEND on me
How self sacrificing and giving I am
Whether I am able to find solutions for others lives
© Lyndall Johnson 1994
“Internal relationship will always validate the inner feeling and set limit with behavior”. ~Charisse Lyons
The Nicey-Nice Strategy
How often do you play the nicey-Nice strategy?
Why do you do this instead of being authentic?
What need are you trying to get met from others? What feeling are you trying to avoid?
How did you learn it?
Can you validate the inner feeling and need instead of doing the saccharine sucking on others?
It’s not good for you, or others because it is fake, strategic and dishonest and leaves your real feelings and needs abandoned. It is not nutritious, but highly addictive.
