Compassion Group Notes - March 2023
A lion was captured and placed in a large yard surrounded by a high fence. He soon became acquainted with the social life of the other lions who had been there a long time. The lions had divided themselves into several clubs, each with its own activities.
One group met regularly to hate and slander the captors. Another group met to sing sentimentally about a future jungle having no fences. And a third group met to secretly plot violence against the other groups.
Each club tried to pressure the newcomer into joining, but something held him back. His hesitation was caused by observing one particular lion who kept to himself and who seemed to be in deep thought. The newcomer shyly approached the solitary lion and requested an explanation of his apartness.
Join nothing,” replied the lion.“Those foolish creatures do everything but the necessary. I am doing what is essential, so one day I will be out of here. You are welcome to all the facts I have uncovered.”
“But what is this necessary thing you are doing?”
“Listen carefully. I am studying the nature of the fence.”
© Anthony de Mello
Language reveals the nature of the Fence
Our language will reveal all the barriers to the freedom of living in loving relationship with ourselves. Power or control exerted on ourselves is not loving - is not relational. Consider some of the things we have heard in groups:
Fighting the feeling, Fighting fatigue…
Overcoming my shame…
So mad at myself…
I just hate that I…
Just get over it…
You’re better than that …
Notice, examine, name and transform non-relationship to loving relationship. Set your beautiful wild self free.
Tend to the Wound First
If your child were hit by a drunk driver as she was cycling down the road, what would you do first? Run after the drunk driver or tend to the bleeding child in the road? Which comes first? Think of this metaphor the next time some unconscious person knocks you to the ground with their rudeness, insensitivity, attack, abuse, blaming, projections etc. Instead of defending after you’ve already been hurt (that doesn’t help, the harm is already done), or reaching out hold them accountable, the first thing is to tend to the wound that is already inflicted. How does it feel, what does the feeling need? What are your thinking, needing. You come first. Once you are all healed and calm, then it will be time to deal with the “drunk driver.” Anything other than this, is an abandonment of yourself. And in addition, acting out of feelings when you are wounded, will be destructive to all involved.
Ego Needs and Spiritual Needs
Read the Charisse’s poem from last week again and then consider what the needs are at the level of the ego, which when met internally give rise to Spiritual needs and see if you can discern within yourself which are which. What are born of the experience of living on the earth, being of the earth, and what is inherent in your own life force and consciousness born from the egg of Brahman. Can you feel when you were able to shift from paying attention to only your ego needs to wanting and needing something more and starting down the path of fulfilling your own spiritual needs within.
Study the hierarchy of needs and see which ego/earth needs are still alive in you. And to which spiritual needs are you awake? From the hymn discern the practice for expansion from just ego needs to spiritual needs. What is the divine instruction from the hymn?
What does a butterfly need as opposed to a caterpillar?
