October 2021 - Compassion Group Notes
Who is in charge of the horses?
Detachment - Losing Attachments - What does this mean?
Listen to Sir Michael Caine read Rudyard Kiplings poem “If,” on youtube - can’t get the link to work but it is easy enough to find and well worth it
Loving yourself Unconditionally
Deep down, you have within you a well-spring of unconditional love and support that rivals the best mother anywhere on the plane. No matter what your struggles with self-acceptance may be, there’s a part of you that’s always head over heels in love with you.
Loving Yourself Unconditionally
Deep down, you have within you a well-spring of unconditional love and support that rivals the best mother anywhere on the planet.
No matter what
your struggles with
self-acceptance may be,
there’s a part of you that’s
always head over heels
in love with you.
This part of you is patient when you’re confused, tender when you’ve made a mistake, and firmly loving when you need to do better.
When you’ve done something you’re not proud of, the first voice that pops in your head is probably the internalized critical parent. Just let that voice run through you like water through a sieve. Let it be your “Thanks for sharing” moment.
The part that loves you unconditionally is found once you become still. Take a breath, and look for what psychologist Carl Rogers called an “unconditional positive regard” for yourself, where no matter what, you can see yourself in ways that are endlessly kind and compassionate.
This relationship with yourself is something you must cultivate, as it is the foundation for all positive change.
Without it, we’d sink into shame and self-hatred when seeing our flaws and rough edges.
It’s hard for things to change
when we feel ashamed because
shame stunts development.
Positive change happens in an atmosphere of love.
The cultivation of
an unconditional positive
regard for ourselves,
is therefore the cultivation
of a capacity to grow and
learn from our mistakes.
Take time each day to consciously connect with the part of you that’s already holding unconditional compassion for yourself.
Without trying to love yourself,
just turn toward the part of
you that already does.
From here, welcome all parts of you, both the noble and the needy, recognizing all of you as worthy of your love.
~Katherine Woodword Thomas
Watch this youtube video by Caitlin Roux
https://www.ted.com/talks/caitlyn_roux_self_love_be_intentional
In Defense of Defense
The ego, in service of survival and self-promotion, is sneaky and manifold. There are many layers of defense within. There are sophisticated defenses in defense of more primitive defenses, and when we are backed into a corner, we have a vast repertoire at our disposal.
In defense of defensive stockpiling…..
Stretching Time
To understand ourselves, we must be able to observe our internal physical reactivity to the external world. Our physical reactivity to the external world is a combination of instinct (like any animal) and the highly developed capacity of the human brain.
Observe the process of time … break it down into discrete elements of the dynamic within yourself
Don’t go off the Path!
The hardest thing to remember is that what we each really want is the truth of our lives, good or bad. Not rocking the boat is an illusion that can only be maintained by the unspoken agreement not to feel and in the long run it never really works. Let go of saving the boat and save the passengers instead. ~ Harry Truman
This is a picture of my 18 year old granddaughter Jessie when she was just 2 years old. We are walking on a path through a nature reserve in Tuscon. There are little signs along the pathway, saying “Do not leave the path.” I had stepped off the path to get a picture and Jessie became highly distressed and agitated and clung to my leg saying, “No, Ganny (she couldn’t say r’s yet), no, Ganny, no go off the path.”
This Month’s Recommended Reading
The Knight in Rusty Armor. ~Robert Fisher
