March 2021 - Compassion Group Notes
Thinking can be far from Rational, Factual or Real
N.B. The reason for recognizing these very human ways of thinking is not to stop them, change them, control them or judge them - but rather to SEE them with compassion for why they are there and then being in relationship with them with lightness, humor, wisdom. It is the relationship of bringing love and truth to the lies that integrates them into your being and renders them harmless to yourself and others. If you see it and judge it you are still living only in the human paradigm and not bringing the spiritual into relationship with your humanity.
Gratitude
So much has been given to me; I have no time to ponder over that which has been denied. ~ Helen Keller
There is absolutely no point in parroting a practice of gratitude, if you do not actually have insight, joy, enjoyment, for all the gifts of life. This constitutes spiritual by-pass and sanctimoniousness.
Learning in Childhood
“Now you tell your father not to teach you any more. It's best to begin reading with a fresh mind. You tell him I'll take over from here and try to undo the damage.” ~ Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
Repeatedly in these teachings, we encourage you to start asking questions that might arise in you, but for the most part it is extremely intimidating to people to do so. This is a huge block to evolving, for most people. The best learning is when there is a genuine question that arises in you that leads to an answer.
What do you see? Why is it important to see deeply into both the beauty and the ugliness?
Mindfulness Practice as Spiritual By-Pass
“Joy stems from humility.” ~Charisse Lyons
There are many traps to remaining stuck in dualities. One of them is the very common defense of using what is “good, right, perfect, beautiful, and lovely to divert our attention away from what is causing us inner distress - namely the bad, wrong, imperfect, ugly suffering of our lives and those of others and in the world.
We can use being mindful of everything that is good and beautiful in the present moment to remain fragmented at many levels:
Gratitude too, can be used as defense - genuine gratitude springs doing the work.
Broken Bones Require a Cast - Broken Psyches need Defense
As our young souls feel wounded by the experience of the world, so we find ways to encase and protect those vulnerable, broken, bleeding parts of ourselves. We cover up with a hard outer casing of pretense and defense. It is necessary when something is broken - even if only in perception.
The breaking of the soul in two happens when we are told our value is not intrinsic, but dependent on obedience to the needs, wants, rules and demands of others. The psyche is now in two - in perception only. I am good when ….. / I am bad if…… , I am right when …. / I am wrong …. if. And not only am I now good and bad, right and wrong, but it is all my fault.
And of course, the fault does lie in the unaware and primitive state of cognitive understanding of the small child who is experiencing the world of duality. And so, as children, we put on a plaster cast and hide the wounding and we decorate the cast with smiley faces and fake hearts.
The cast must remain in place until such time that the correct healing is applied to the wound.
Just as the body naturally and spontaneously heals by the miracle of the innate consciousness of the Life Force within, so the psyche can only heal when this same consciousness is brought to bear on the suffering our young souls. As the healing happens so the cast becomes a little tattier, dirty and frayed. Now it seems less appealing. We no longer need it to get attention and empathy. The day comes when we realize we no longer actually need because what was once broken in two is now healed by the miracle of the Love and Truth of our own consciousness.
Don’t knock the defenses - just heal yourself with Love
Every Life has Intrinsic Value
One of our group members told a really beautiful story in group. She had visited the dentist, filled with trepidation and having done a lot of work around terrible experiences at the dentist as a child. To her surprise, she had a very empathic, present and competent dentist who attended to her emotionally as well as technically, preparing her for the next step, offering empathy and care and being careful, respectful and kind.It was one of those experiences we all wish we had in relationship with medical people! She thanked him and he told her that when he was an intern, an old woman of 103 cameinfor some dental work, and she told him caustically, “Well, if you think you are going to be a dentist, you had better learn some bedside manners!”
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