December 2020 -Compassion Group Notes
Emotional Abuse
Very often arguments turn into aruments about content, not the process. For instance, you always clean the kitchen counter and your partner always messes it up without cleaning up after herself. We could have an endless debate about the rightness or wrongness of cleaning the kitchen counter and the fairness of who does and unfairness about who doesn’t do it. In fact, we could argue and debate this till the cows come home but it has nothing whatsoever with right or wrong, good or bad. It has everything to do with the inner process that is occurring in the person complaining, that is being completely ignored by themself and is being projected on to the other person.
Thoughts cause Feelings
When you were little your parents’ belief that you were “bad” or “wrong” caused you to feel shame. Now your beliefs about being “bad” and “wrong,” make you feel shame. You are the one that completes the cycle instead of breaking it.
As an adult now, in order to break the cycle, you have to recognize the feeling with empathy for the kid you were, and correct the belief you were given in the messages your parents gave you. Instead of feeling shame and then believing you are bad, you feel the shame and correct the belief. Try to recognize your feelings and the beliefs that are tied to them. They are not really two things, they are one energy. Feelings are more visceral and the thought is its cerebral correlate. If you are not aware of this you cannot change it.
Banned in England - at last!
Hunting Season
“One saw a bird dying, shot by a man. It was flying with rhythmic beat and beautifully, with such freedom and lack of fear. And the gun shattered it; it fell to the earth and all the life had gone out of it. A dog fetched it, and the man collected other dead birds. He was chattering with his friend and seemed so utterly indifferent. All that he was concerned with was bringing down so many birds, and it was over as far as he was concerned. They are killing all over the world. Those marvellous, great animals of the sea, the whales, are killed by the million, and the tiger and so many other animals are now becoming endangered species. Man is the only animal that is to be dreaded.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurti, Krishnamurti to Himself: His Last Journal
Hunting season has arrived and with it the deep uneasiness I feel with people’s discourse around hunting wildlife. I am an African. I grew up knowing all about hunting. And I think I must have heard every argument for and against that has ever been dreamt up.
The seed of God is in us.
Given an intelligent
and hardworking farmer,
it will thrive and grow
up into God, whose seed
it is; and accordingly its
fruits will be God-nature.
Pear seeds grow into
pear trees, nut seeds
into nut trees, and
God seeds into God.
~Meister Eckhart
The Past is Present, until it is brought into the embrace of the Infinite present of your Love and Truth
The Present Moment
“Don't look for peace. Don't look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender” ~Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjqiU5FgsYc - watch this - addiction or presence?
the gate is open ….
Learned Helplessness/Victim Behavior
“Once, some scientists did an experiment. They took a jar and put some insects in it. Bzzz... Imagine a bunch of insects in the jar. They put the lid on the jar, screwed it down, and let it sit there with the insects buzzing inside. And as the insects buzzed and buzzed, instinctively they were aware of their boundaries - they had some sense of their space within the jar. Then one day the scientists came along and took the lid off the jar. And the insects buzzed and buzzed around. But even though the lid was off, they stayed in the jar, because they were fixed in that reality. That was the way it was. They couldn’t imagine that there was any other way of being. Their entire existence had been ∞controlled and monitored for the, to the point that there was no escape into the new possibilities outside the jar.” ~Edwina Gateley. “A Warm Moist Salty God”
If you never learned to be in relationship to your feelings and needs, thoughts and behaviors, then there is no adult present internally to now relate to these functions and ages within - at least in your awareness. And yet, everyone is operating as functional adults externally. The work now is to RECOGNIZE the adult in you that needs to be in relationship to collapsed states of consciousness of a child instead of collapsing into the learned helplessness you learned as children leading to a restricted, constricted prison cell of a life, just like the insects in the jar. There is a vast difference between being realistically victimized and acting the victim manipulatively in adulthood.
