Listen for all the layers, colors, textures, and to what is not said, and yet said.
Reflective Listening - Judge or Join?
As you listen to others, are you truly listening to them, or are you only judging what they say, or joining with what they say? Distancing or becoming enmeshed? Creating distance, or over-identifying?
If I say, “I am so tired.” Do you say, “Me too!” (joining)
Or do you say, “Well, maybe you could cut some things out of your schedule"? (judging and offering unsolicited advice - control from judgment)
Either of these options indicates a lack of listening and is merely a defense of projection, because you were triggered into unaware anxiety by their statement, and you offer your usual inner solution (sympathy and self-pity for yourself, or control and judgment of yourself). In both scenarios, you have not heard what the other person said at all. You have shown no interest and have not tried to understand or learn about their situation or experience in any way.
Consider how this is a habitual way of reacting to others, a daily practice of self-observation and self-reflection, and see if you can bring awareness (your True Self) to the conversation.
All that the apparently separate self needs to do to recognise its own essential nature and thus access its inherent peace and happiness is to recognise that its essence of pure awareness is not conditioned or limited by objective experience.
~ Rupert Spira
